Now, don't get me wrong, I am not just sitting on my hands, waiting for my ship to come in or for the pot of gold in the rainbow to fall on my head! Oh, no!!
I have sent out a bunch of applications, planning for a new job in the fall. I am in grad school, working towards special education certification (and yes, crazily, maybe even a certificate in "severe emotional disability"). I talk positively about my future to anyone who will listen, and sometimes even those who would rather not! hehe
So...... sounds like I am doing everything right, right? So why am I still questioning this path I am on? Why am I looking for more? I feel like I am not making enough of a difference (despite that quote that I read every day at the top of my blog).
I feel like I am waiting...... but for what? Will I know "it" when it gets here? Will I be afraid? Will I be asleep?
And so I keep thinking.....
Do you ever question your very existence on the planet? Wonder what the "Big Picture" is? I have been doing it a lot lately and I am not sure if it is because I am getting older or what. I read a lot of blogs written by people going through real struggles and it makes me feel silly to be worrying like this....
Well, thanks for listening.... I know my answer is out there somewhere....
I just have to keep my mind and my eyes open.
Positive Affirmation Cards....pick one here
From Paper Boat Press Shop (LOVE this shop)
Oh boy, do I hear ya! I have been questioning my existence since I was 12 years old and now at 36, still trying to find the answer. Here's to us both and everyone finding their meaning in life! Cheers.
ReplyDeleteLynn
Sheila, I can't give you your answer, but the search is worth it. C.S. Lewis talks about longing being the next best thing to having. That it is its own pleasure. Even longing for meaning can bring a sort of joy to life.
ReplyDeleteVery thought provoking! And I love your cat pics in several posts. Thanks for following my blog too- http://catsongstitchery.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteGreat questions you are asking. Two thoughts here...Psalm 139 is a good place to look for some answers. Secondly, consider where you are in your life. You've been working towards a goal for a long time in school and perhaps when you have completed the prep and are working, it may all come together. However, I pursued a new career in my 30's and yet when I was about 39 for no apparent reason...it felt like my ground moved. I felt like I'd had known the meaning of life since I was about 5 :-) and then it just didn't make sense anymore. Maybe in my head but not in the rest of me. It seemed to pass at sometime but it also may have prompted me to change careers back to what I had chosen originally. I think the unsettling was a bit of a life stage growing. It can be a good thing. Hope this isn't too much for a blog comment...just thoughts in response :-)
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